Imagine our earth is invaded by mysterious galactic forces. The only weapons we can use against them are "programming languages"

Question

In such precarious situation which programming language will you choose as your weapon to defend your planet? and why particularly that language?

Answer 1

Found programming language - weapon comparison in Russian social network. I will try to translate it for you:
C - M1 Garand: standard old shotgun, but you can rely on it
C++ - Nunchucks, powerful and impressing, when master uses it. It requires years of practice for mastery, so you often think it could be better to use something else.
Perl - Molotov cocktail. Probably it used to be useful, but now not many people use it
Java - machine gun, in which it has a roll with some broken bullets. So if there is a NullPointerException in the roll, the weapon will blow up and you will die.
JavaScript - just a sword without a handle
Python - double-barrelled shotgun ("v2/v3"). Shoots only from one barrel, and it would rarely be the one you need
Ruby - sword decorated with rubies, normally used just because it is shiny
PHP - hose that you will use to connect your cars exhaust pipe with the inside and then get into the car, close all doors and windows and start the engine
Mathematiica - low-orbit laser gun, that could do impossible things... if anybody could afford it
C# - powerful laser gun installed on a donkey. And without donkey it does not almost work //do they mean Windows?
Prolog - a weapon with artificial intelligence. Of course, it does what it needs too, but in addition it creates several terminators that go to the past to kill your parents
Lisp - a huge number of different blades and razors. It is used only by quite dangerous, often crazy, people

Answer 2

Once you guys capture some of these creatures back, I can get some kids to reprogram them with Lego Mindstorms (NXT / EV3) by slotting a compile wire somewhere into their brains. You know what they say - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. We might end up being able to send spies back to their troops and cripple their forces from within. :>

Answer 3

@Ace Thanks...😂

Answer 4

Malbolge, I'll send them to the 8th circle of Hell....

Answer 5

Brainf**k, would do the same to those 'creatures'

Answer 6

@Ace Yep. They are not venomous; instead, they crush their prey and try to break bones so that it can't run away.

Answer 7

I will use WhiteSpace. It's invisible and they don't know what they are dealing with.

Answer 8

I will use PHP for the defence of web cause it has the power to retrieve the the formation from those invaders and create a log file which will be visible to other soldiers of this war that is we programmers

Answer 9

I will use PHP, JavaScript, HTML and CSS as these are unbreakable.
Like a server side game can't be hacked
Together use of all these languages will make a powerful defense and it will give us more power

Answer 10

1's and 0's are enough to kill them! (Machine Language)
010101000010100111010011100

Answer 11

while(aliens>0)
{
//attack
aliens--;
}

Answer 12

I'd take Python to tell them the Killer Joke (Python's name comes from Monty Python and not from the snake)

Answer 13

Create a new virus code as a batch file.

Answer 14

I like lsd, too, but I'd use standard HTML and JavaScript, but tryna hack alein software would need a whole nother level of coding language, like we'd have to start from decoding, pattern recognition and mathematics.

Answer 15

I think python and Ruby will be great because it is simple and large number people can help us in war and everyone know that unity is the strength

Answer 16

Java language....since it is the only language I know as a novice :) ;)