+ 19

Jokes only programmers will get...

I laughed hard with some jokes i saw here and there "Programmer's son asks his dad: Dad why do the sun rise on the east and set on the west? Dad: It works? Don't touch it" or "When i wrote this code, only me and God knew how it works. Now only God knows..." Do you know any good one?

27th Nov 2017, 4:42 AM
Kostas Batz
Kostas Batz - avatar
16 Answers
+ 20
Daddy, what are clouds made of? - Linux servers, mostly.
27th Nov 2017, 4:44 AM
Anton Cox
Anton Cox - avatar
+ 13
27th Nov 2017, 8:48 AM
Krishna Teja Yeluripati
Krishna Teja Yeluripati - avatar
+ 13
Never put your <head> inside of your <body> 👻
28th Nov 2017, 10:11 AM
Jay Tailor
Jay Tailor - avatar
+ 12
A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says, “Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!” To which the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.” The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.” The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millennia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.” The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.” At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”
27th Nov 2017, 4:53 AM
Saurabh Taneja
Saurabh Taneja - avatar
+ 11
oh another one! "There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don't...
27th Nov 2017, 4:54 AM
Kostas Batz
Kostas Batz - avatar
+ 11
Q: What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy? A: Inheritance
30th Nov 2017, 4:43 AM
anne_stark
anne_stark - avatar
+ 8
Hide and seek champion of the year: ; Since 1958
27th Nov 2017, 5:55 AM
Marcus Germano
+ 8
My ex heard I let our teenager be a Bitcoin miner, so she reported me for child labor. I was told I could program without needing a maths education, but the same exceptions appear so often I wish I'd learned more logger rhythms. I fear AI... because if one were ever designed to fix common syntax errors it would just replace all my code with semicolons. My family thinks I'm spending too much time on SoloLearn. I don't understand why it's such such a big deal to stop boring lectures with "Timeout Exceeded". I wrote a web spider, but I don't think it's doing anything because it's already full of bugs.
27th Nov 2017, 7:23 AM
Kirk Schafer
Kirk Schafer - avatar
+ 6
My mum told me “Get me a bottle of milk from the store and if they have eggs bring 6.” I came back with 6 bottles of milk because they have eggs. 😂
29th Nov 2017, 12:06 PM
Ore
Ore - avatar
+ 3
enjoyed both.
27th Nov 2017, 10:31 AM
Md. Nafis Ul Haque Shifat
Md. Nafis Ul Haque Shifat - avatar
+ 2
Now only god knows where the hell is semi-colon I hate you javascript >:(
29th Nov 2017, 4:51 PM
Mustafa Yıldız
Mustafa Yıldız - avatar
+ 1
nice ones
27th Nov 2017, 3:36 PM
Jacob Mathew
Jacob Mathew - avatar
+ 1
@ice i remember i found this somewhere and i laughed to tears 😂
29th Nov 2017, 12:08 PM
Kostas Batz
Kostas Batz - avatar
0
my code
30th Jun 2018, 10:23 AM
Zacky Talib
Zacky Talib - avatar
0
Complaining about the lack of smoking shelters, the nicotine addicted Python programmers said there ought to be 'spaces for tabs'.
3rd May 2021, 5:24 AM
Koshy John
Koshy John - avatar
0
What did the Java code say to the C code? A: You've got no class.
3rd May 2021, 5:25 AM
Koshy John
Koshy John - avatar