***** Software JOKES *****

Question

Q: How many Software Developer's does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None, that's a hardware problem.

Answer 1

Hardware(noun) -- The part of a computer that you can kick.

Programmer(noun) -- A machine that turns coffee into code.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
A: 1

Q: Why did the programmer quit his job.
A: He didn't get arrays(a raise).

Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
A: They both become useless when you try to open windows.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fu Br(Foo Bar) Fucked up beyond recognition.

How do you tell the difference between HTML and HTML5?
Try it in IE. Did it work?
No.
That's HTML5.

SQL query walks into a bar, goes to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"

UNIX is user friendly..... It's just particular about who it's friends are.

Hide and Seek champion ; since 1985

[ "hip" , "hip" ]

Enjoy!

Answer 2

How do two programmers make money?

One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

Answer 3

BIOS joke:
Keyboard not found...
Press ENTER to continue...

Answer 4

What's a web developers favorite snack?

🍪🍪🍪Cookies🍪🍪🍪

Answer 5

Q : How many web designers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A : Three. One to change Lamp structure, one to update the style, and the other one to make tool.switchLampOn().

Answer 6

********Some of Best Ever******

Q: Why do Java programmers have wear glasses?
A: Because they don't C# (see sharp).

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Real programmers count from... 0

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Software developers like to solve problems. if there are no problems handily available;
the will create they own problems!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says: Hello World.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

A programme had a problem.
He decided to use Java.
He now has a ProblemFactory.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chuck Norris can take a screenshot of his blue screen

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you put a millions monkeys on a millions keyboards,
one of them will eventually write a Java program.
the rest of them will write Perl program.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Life Before the Computer**

An application: was for employment.
A program: was a TV show.
A cursor: used profanity.
A keyboard: was a piano!.
Memory: was something that you lost with age.
A CD: was a bank account.
And if you had a 3-inch floppy, You hoped nobody found out!

Compress: was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public
You’d be in jail for awhile!

Log on: was adding wood to a fire.
Hard drive: was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad: was where a mouse lived.
And a backup: happened to your commode!

Cut: you did with a pocket knife.
Paste: you did with glue.
A web: was a spider’s home
And a virus was the flu!

**********Enjoy********

Answer 7

****Definitions you need to know****

Algorithm (noun.)
Word used by programmers when... They do not want explain what they did.

Programmer (noun.)
A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.

Answer 8

Cookies : This is a eatable Object. which is widely used by @Hatsy Rei
hahahhha😏

Answer 9

Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected.

Answer 10

-What can you catch but can never throw?
-Multiple exceptions

Answer 11

Q: How many Mac users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Just one, but the bulb has to be purchased directly from Apple, only screws in one way, lights up 80% of the time, and is PERFECTLY ENGINEERED

Answer 12

@Devender Mahajan : Can I use these 2 jokes in my code?

Answer 13

For more jokes, check my code
https://code.sololearn.com/W9RRiya4cPGu/?ref=app

Answer 14

What is the best example of "pig-headed" in the world?
Answer: Window 10 Updates.

Answer 15

Q: What's the best prefix for a global variable in C++?

A: //

Answer 16

No!! not again

Answer 17

@Krishna Teja Yes you can because it's from the _internet_ See the references
1)https://googleweblight.com/i?u=https://comic.browserling.com/tag/bios&grqid=c9ClOEBV&hl=en-IN

2)https://googleweblight.com/i?u=https://www.sololearn.com/Discuss/131811/50-of-people-use-google-well-as-a-search-engine-the-rest-50-of-them-use-it-to-check-if-their&grqid=dNB3N5aw&hl=en-IN

Yes I am a jobless engineer and all these jokes are from Google(the irony) So don't ask him and just use it.

Answer 18

A programmer's wife tells him to buy 1 glass of milk and adds: if the store has eggs, buy a dozen.
The programmer gets home with 12 glasses of milk. His wife yells at him and asks why.
"Because the store has eggs"

Answer 19

real life joke:

my life

Answer 20

haha good one