What should you never say to a programmer?

Answer 1

U will get error 😀

Answer 2

"Where did you copy this code from?"

Answer 3

Client requirement for a website:
"It needs to be poppin!"

Client trying to squeeze in extra functionality:
"Yeah but, this change is simple and I know you can knock it out quickly."

Initial client call:
"We've already had 3 different developers building our ecommerce site over the course of the past 3 years. We just need you to make it responsive."

On unit tests:
Do I need to pay you for the time spent writing unit tests?

On bug fixes:
Do I need to pay you for bugs that came out of your code?

And last, but not least:
"Is it web scale?"

WARNING: Incredibly funny, but has foul language.

https://youtu.be/b2F-DItXtZs

Answer 4

Mcqueen LOL... Here's a typical way that conversation goes:

Friend: Dude, my computer is running so slow. Can you take a look?

Me: This usually happens when people visit websites they shouldn't. You sure you want someone as technical as me working on your computer?

Friend: Wha...? Um... hehehe... I was just kidding. Um... oh hey, you want to go see that new movies?

Me: 🤣

Answer 5

Do not give up easily and do not miss a semicolon

Answer 6

Nah... there are limits imposed by the browser.

http://browsercookielimits.squawky.net

Answer 7

"I've got an idea for an app, its a bit like [established app with lots of features, built over a 2 year period by a team of experienced full time developers] but with [badly thought out feature or difference]. I can't pay you, help you get funding or help you develop it, but I'd love it if you could just make this for me for free. "

Answer 8

Eh? Always... This be who I be. 😜

Answer 9

"Python is the best programming language." 😂

Answer 10

A: You're good with computers aren't you?
B: Yes
A: Can you clean my car?

Answer 11

"Oh God! you're doing it wrong!, here, this is how you do it, seriously, watch and learn!" (start typing on the colleague's keyboard)

"What! you can't figure it out? that's what you get for wasting your years with all the parties and games, I told you so, go back and read Algorithm 101!"

Try one of these, and see the looks on your coding mate face : )

Answer 12

I know you have been with us for 5 years....
but you are still not getting Arrays.

Answer 13

Why does my laptop freeze can you fix it ???

Answer 14

David Carroll
That brings me to an interesting question that I have no idea if it would work.
Is it possible to affect a computer using a ton of cookies? I mean, like, unsigned long long int.max_value.... to the point where you could take up enough memory to impact how your system operates?

Answer 15

Yes, I know, that would be logical, but I'm saying theoretically.
I was trying to imply what would happen if there were none. obviously this wouldn't actually happen, but if there were no limits?

Answer 16

never say you can't make or write this code because if he want he will do it

Answer 17

I planted a bomb on the semicolon so dont press it XD

Answer 18

“You are a geek programmer, you must be getting lot of girls!”
Never say this to any programmer. It’s like telling the cashier of the bank, “You are a cashier, you must be owning millions of currency!” Well, you hit where it hurts the most. 😞😞

Answer 19

"You're being illogical"

Answer 20

"Can you JUST..."

This usually ends in sentences like:

"...reconfigure the Hadron Collider over lunch?" or

"...just recode it in assembler by Tuesday?"

😂